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Gender relations and the centrality of family life
This equally holds true for Islam’s endeavours to regulate sexual activity and elevate the ideals of chastity and modesty with regards to gender relations. There is no denying the need to satisfy human sexual desires beyond the pure purpose of procreation, and Islam does not advocate celibacy and complete abstinence. To create a safe family environment, however, where children can grow up trusting and supported by both parents, Islam insists that two partners should only have a sexual relationship after they have
committed themselves to each other through marriage, and in order to minimise temptation Islam restricts the opportunities for improper approaches and intimacy by advocating a modest dress code when in public and stating that an unmarried man and woman must never be left alone in private. The selection of a suitable marriage partner should be based on faith and character, rather than the fading qualities of beauty and wealth, and parents and the wider society play a crucial role in helping young people find the right partner, but nobody must be forced to marry someone they cannot love. As incompatibilities do not always become apparent until after some time, Islam permits divorce after all efforts of reconciliation have failed.
In certain circumstances, but not as the norm, it also permits a man to marry more than one woman – limiting the total number of wives he may have to four – so as to protect a wife from being abandoned in favour of another. The moral outrage at this by modern secularists is hypocritical, as they do not at all limit the number of side-step partners
a person may have outside marriage, but do not afford any of them proper rights as a partner. Islam insists that where a man has more than one wife, he must treat them financially and with regard to the time he spends with and the care he gives each of them equally, emphasising that this is an almost impossible task. No woman should simply be used for the sexual gratification of a man without any obligation for her upkeep and continuing welfare. Whilst there is a conditional acceptance of polygamy in Islam, a woman may not have more than one husband, as this would make it extremely difficult for a child to know who his or her father is.
Unlike feminism, which claims to improve the situation of women by forcing them to compete with men, Islam holds both men and women in equal esteem and emphasises their equal worth before Allah, but recognises that they are physically and emotionally different and play different parts in society. Whilst a woman may work or conduct her own business, she is not obliged to cater for her husband and family. She comes under the husband’s protection who must provide for her according to his means. Women and men have their own circles and social gatherings and further interact with each other in the extended family setting. The Islamic concept of gender relations can be described as complementary rather than competitive.
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